Our crack team at FTRW intercepted this communique from Larry Craig to Eliot Spitzer.
Dear Governor Spitzer,
I am terribly sorry to hear about your recent downfall. Under normal circumstances I'd probably be laughing my ass off and condemning you and probably calling you a sinner. However, since I was recently busted for trying to solicit hot gay sex in the Minneapolis airport restroom, I'll just offer you some sage advice on how to play it. The first thing you've got to do is call a press conference in your hometown and defiantly claim that you are not gay and you never have been gay. Secondly, admit that you made some mistakes and probably should have handled it differently. Go ahead and announce that you are going to resign at the end of the month to make everyone happy. Once the fascination dies down, change your mind and don't resign. Everyone will be confused and they won't know what to do. They'll give up because there will be some other story in the media that fascinates them. I feel for you and the fact that you'd been spending thousands of dollars on hookers for the last six year all while busting up prostitution rings. Oh, the hypocrisy. Now, it all comes crashing down. Similarly, I have been soliciting (and engaging in) hot gay sex for years. Now, my wife doesn't let me out of her sight. Best of luck Governor, and if you're ever flying through Minneapolis, let me know.
Sincerely,
Senator Larry Craig
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3 comments:
What do you mean by "crack team"? Does that refer to a body part or some kind of pharmacologic agent? In the case of Larry Craig, I'd think the latter.
It's my team that sells crack to politicians.
Are you the proprietor of the Emperor's Club?
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